Let’s talk about cookies. Humans are social animals. We need an ongoing connection to others, and a sense of belonging in community in order to thrive. These needs are powerful enough, that if we’re not getting them met straight up, our subconscious will find sneaky ways for us to try to access belonging and connection,… Continue reading The (Potential) Ally’s Guide to Cookies
(I first wrote this piece in 2014, when I didn’t have a website and when there wasn’t (or, probably, I wasn’t aware of) much writing with this perspective — i.e. practical ideas on defeating rape culture — but am only publishing it now, with some changes/additions. Since writing it, I have encountered & read many more pieces… Continue reading 14 Ideas for Defeating Rape Culture
If you are reading this, you are likely a well-meaning person who wants to treat trans and gender-non-binary folks with respect, and facilitate the inclusion of folks of all genders in your community. In which case, here are some important things to consider: 1. A few key concepts (I won’t assume everyone reading is… Continue reading How to Actually Include Folks of All Genders
Liminal people Ever since I read Excommunicate Me from the Church of Social Justice — and then, a few weeks later, I’m a Transwoman, I Am in the Closet, I Am Not Coming Out — I’ve been thinking about how we treat liminal people in activist communities. Liminal people: those who are still becoming. Trans and… Continue reading On Liminal Kindness
Chag sameach to everyone celebrating Chanukah. And happy holidays to all of you celebrating whatever is meaningful to your heart this time of year. Especially marginalised queer & trans folks. May warmth & love & hope & kindness & gentleness & softness & understanding & self-acceptance show up as guests for your feasts & never… Continue reading A Short Love Letter on the 1st Night of Chanukah
This list is grounded in my experiences of several decades of living with chronic illnesses, which bring both chronic pain and short-term episodes of intense pain. During that time I’ve experienced some not-so-useful support, and a lot of quite excellent support (due to: my learning what works & what doesn’t for me, talking with/reading other… Continue reading How to support a loved one dealing with (chronic and/or intense) pain
